Off season slump

Motivation has been hard to come by lately. It’s cold and dreary outside, and as much as I hate to admit it, the weather seems to directly affect my mood and productivity. It that time of year where I just start to get a little burned out, and this year I seemed to be more burned out than normal. I don't even want to pick up my camera. I want to pack it up in its bag and leave it sitting for weeks at a time. No CF cards to empty, no CDs to burn, no photos to sort, edit, upload, no books to order, prints to ship. I'm tired of it. I'm still going to do my job, of course. I have 3 shoots this week, and I will shoot and put as much into getting the shot as I always do. It’s just not making me feel...excited. I'm uninspired. I'm tired. Worst of all, I feel like my photography is mediocre. I feel like I'm not pushing my photography to newer and greater heights, yet pushing myself way too close to the edge all at once. It’s a frustrating place to be. I have this urge to create, yet the thought of having to pick up my camera and all that post-processing that comes with shooting immediately kills that. I just want to put on my pajamas and stay in them until February, no voicemails, no shipments, no emails. Then, I look at another photographer’s blog and see all the great work their producing, and I feel even more overwhelmed. How could I ever create something as wonderful as that? How could I ever have such a cool marketing strategy? When will I ever be at the next level? I feel as if I’m just doing enough to hold my head above water. I should be working right now. Ugh, typing that makes me mad. Its 9pm. I shouldn’t be working; I should be hanging out with Joshy. But it’s been almost 3 weeks since my last wedding, and I haven’t even touched the photos. I know they’re anxious to see them…such a hard balance to strike…work time vs. home time. I work at home. It all runs together. It’s hard to admit to myself; it’s even harder to blog. I love my clients more than you might imagine, and I don’t want any of you to think I’m not going to give you 100%. I will, always. I promise. Maybe I just need to let it out. You're not going to abandon me because I feel the need to be honest and admit I'm not perfect....right? I know this isn’t going to last forever. Come spring time, I’ll be at the starting gate, rearing to go again. Anxious to get outside and start shooting again. But right now, I just want to walk away. I’m sorry for the whining. I know you came here to see pictures, not listen to me complain. But the photos will come; today I need to share...whine...whatever. Whatever.

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